I wrote an article for Medium a few years ago. It got some pretty good engagement which means I made a bit of money. Best of all, every month or so I get another few views, and about four cents gets deposited into my account which is pretty exciting. Four cents AMERICAN though, so…
Recently, I went back and read it over again and, while I do still mostly agree with the premise — that you shouldn’t just dump friends because they don’t serve your greatest and highest good — I also now think I should have given myself a bit of a break back then. Yes, I did stop being friends with someone a long time ago because I couldn’t see past her negativity, and yes I could have tried to help her more (I did, by the way), but I also now know that I’m not any good to anyone if my own mental health is the shits.
I can’t help anyone if I can barely help myself.
Which is why, now, during a time when my life can be somewhat challenging, I have chosen, once again, to hang out more (not always) with people who bring light to the party and I, in turn, am trying my best to do the same. (I challenge you to find a sentence with more commas).
Like everyone in this world, I have good days, and I have not-so-good days. And on those not-great days, I know I need to make a deliberate effort to search for the light. I search for the glimmers — the little things that happen during the day that I’m grateful for — and I seek out people who help me find them.
Lately, I’ve been really working on practicing optimism. I’ve been trying to dig myself out of the hole of cynical negativity that I dug decades ago. I want to be the person who people go to to feel better. I want to be the glimmer in my friend’s lives. Like Travis Kelce I now strive to be a fountain, not a drain. (Hands up, who thought I would be referencing Travis Kelce in this newsletter?)
However, full disclosure, this journey that I’m on is most definitely a marathon, not a sprint. From someone who has seen herself as a “cynical realist” for most of her life, some days the negativity wins and the optimism is nowhere to be found. Some nights I have to just shake my head, tuck myself into bed at 8 pm, and vow to try again tomorrow.
Because some days I don’t feel positive. And that’s okay. I’m not advocating for non-stop, cheerfulness and turning everyone’s frown upside down. Everyone has their challenges and should get to feel what they’re feeling without judgment.
But, I will tell you this, and it is firmly based on experience: decades of worrying and “preparing yourself” for the worst to happen, does not actually help when it does. It still sucks. And it does not suck any less. So, why not do the opposite? Why not prepare yourself for the best? At the very least, no matter what happens, the journey to get there will be more enjoyable.
And isn’t that all anyone really wants?
What about you? Do you have any tips on practicing optimism? Or on how you find your glimmers? Or are you finding it hard to see any light at all? I’d love to hear from you — reply to this email or comment at the end of the newsletter.
Updates
I have a lot of updates so you might want to go get a coffee.
Love, Julie
I am excited to announce that I have finished the last extensive revision of Love, Julie. Hurray! It is now with the copy editor and then, once I do their (hopefully minor) revisions, it will go to the proofreader, then one more round of minor revisions, and then I’m done with the writing part! This should wrap up at the end of December so we can explode with promotions in the new year. And explode we will be doing. We have a bunch of fun stuff planned for Love, Julie, starting with the cover reveal (I LOVE THE COVER SO MUCH) early in the new year. If you’d like to be the first to know about all of these fun things, and also help get the word out, you can join my street team, Get Lit With Jamie, here. I’ll be starting up a promo contest in January and the winner will get a free, signed copy of Love, Julie. But you need to be a part of the street team. So, join now! What are you waiting for?
Birthday month
It’s my birthday month! That’s it. Just an update on me getting older.
(It’s also my dad’s birthday month — Happy birthday, Dad!)
Waiting in the Wings: Harriet’s Fifth Act
I have finished writing my new, free, novella and it is currently being reviewed by my publisher. This will be released in the new year when all the exciting promo activities begin. If you’ve read my first novella, Running from Christmas, you will be pleasantly surprised (hopefully) to see some familiar characters.
Follow me on Bookbub
Did you want to get notifications on my book sales and new releases? Follow me on Bookbub and all of your dreams will come true!
*Note: only dreams relating to getting notifications about my book sales and new releases will come true.
Have you read Running From Christmas yet? If not, what better way to get into the Christmas spirit? And, best of all, it’s free!
The last thing Charlotte wants to do this year is to celebrate Christmas. With her beloved mother gone, all she wants is to curl up and wait for the day to be over. But when a chance encounter sees Charlotte team up with a group of feisty ladies for a 5K Christmas run—can Charlotte let go of her grief and finally stop running from Christmas?
A heartwarming festive tale about overcoming grief with the power of friendship, family and of course love!
What people are saying about my debut novel Someone to Kiss:
“This book is about so much more than dating in your 40s. It's about Friendships, family, acceptance of who you are, knowing your worth, and never settling for less. A very funny, yet moving story.” - Kate's A Bookworm
“I didn't know what to expect when I started Someone to Kiss but I am still reeling from the emotional rollercoaster it took me on. Yes, you will laugh but you will also gasp, tear up, get angry, (like wanting to cause bodily harm type of anger), feel your heart strings be pulled, and just about every feeling in between.” - The Romantic Comedy Book Club
(Books make perfect Christmas gifts, hint, hint.)